I have struggled on and off (my whole life) with depressive episodes, self-loathing/confidence issues and more recently I have developed a dreaded case of ‘victim mentality’, which I am battling with at the moment.
Victim Mentality: an acquired personality trait in which a person recognises themselves as a victim of the negative actions of others, and to behave as if this were the case.
Martyr Complex: a person who seeks out the feeling of being a martyr for their own sake, seeking out suffering or persecution because it feeds a psychological need, or a desire to avoid responsibility.
The truth of the matter is that NOBODY likes someone who constantly plays the victim. Not one person is drawn to, or enjoys, the negative company of someone who is forever taking the role of ‘victim’, in situations.
The feeling that the entire world is against me is something that I am far too familiar with. I hate feeling this way. I have somehow convinced myself that no one wants me to do well and everyone is out to hurt or harm me. It’s absolutely debilitating.
To suffer from victim mentality is to feel entirely powerless to situations around you, as though you have no control over your life and anything that may affect you is not your FAULT (but the fault of everyone else that is trying to harm you).
Now, I am fully aware that the entire world is not out to get me. My mind is quite rational, when I take a step back.
However, there is still this feeling in my gut that people are going out of their way to do me harm. It makes me feel pathetic. It makes gives me an overwhelming feeling of self-loathing. I think that other people think I am pathetic (mainly because I do, I suppose).
Reality and other people are not causing me to be a victim, my own beliefs are. If I could only get rid of the beliefs that cause the problem then the feeling of victimisation should disappear for good. I just don’t know how to get rid of the beliefs, when I truly believe them.
I wish I could just ‘snap out of it’.
Today I bought a book called How To Break Free of The Drama Triangle and Victim Consciousness, by Barry K. Weinhold, to try and put me on the path of escaping from this me-made hell. I will post a review of this, when I have finished it.
What do you guys to do to stay positive?
Part of my new journey is to find the right path for me, in order to seek happiness and self-acceptance!
I know this was a negative post but hopefully the outcome will be finding new techniques, from other bloggers, that may help me (and other people) to practice the art of maintaining a healthy, positive, mental attitude. Looking forward to hearing from you!
30 something female, from the north-west of England, starting out in the blogging world to help me document/make sense of the changing direction of my life. Taking the scary (and possibly stupid, or wonderful?) step from a 'high-flyer' in Finance to 'new-be' in Holistic Therapies. Highly likely that I am in the early stages of a third-life crisis - I will let the reader decide.
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